I can't believe it's time for this. I have been waiting for 7 very long months to make an announcement like this....I'M PREGNANT! As you know if you follow the blog our journey to expand our family again hasn't been an easy one, but our prayers have been answered and we are so very excited to share the news that our family will be growing again in June.
To be honest our road to this pregnancy has also been bumpy. I don't know if I could ever find the right words to describe what it is like being pregnant after a loss. Your joy and excitement is often over run by fear and anxiety. I have spent the last 15 weeks in pure fear worrying that at any minute we would lose our sweet baby. I hate that...I hate that I don't feel the pure excitement I felt with Brinley, but your brain after a loss plays horrible, horrible tricks on you. It also doesn't help that I was told on multiple occasions by my nurse to be prepared to lose this baby. Because of my losses they did multiple HCG blood draws, my numbers started low and barely doubled within the 48-72 hour mark. I spent 2 weeks in beta hell, the numbers kept coming back doubling when they should, but also very low. My nurse was concerned, but we kept at it and I will never for get the phone call for what she described as my final make it or break it beta. The numbers were looking good and promising, she had trouble hiding her shock, but I think she was as relieved as I was. We scheduled an appointment with my doctor for an ultrasound the next week. Ryan was with me and I could barely deal with the anxiety. There was no heartbeat, however, my doctor wasn't too concerned. It looks like we just were dealing with a late bloomer who was measuring a few days behind from what we thought. Our next appointment showed one amazing little bean with a beautiful heartbeat.
We have since had 2 more ultrasounds showing a sweet baby growing perfectly.
Brinley is "excited" she loves touching the baby and if you ask she pretty much thinks she is having a brother and a sister :) I keep telling Ryan that if she is half as good with the baby as she is with his her babydolls we are golden.
I feel so blessed to be expecting again and I can't wait share this journey with you....
I saw this rainbow the day I got my positive pregnancy test...I hadn't even told Ryan yet. A baby after a loss if often called your "rainbow baby." I was terrified when I saw those two pink lines and I think this was God's way of letting me know things were going to be just fine :)
Our sweet little bean at our ultrasound at 8 weeks 5 days. If you look really close you can see his/her eye.
The best big sister in the world :)
